Hiding the Intrapersonal Communication

I LOVE Homecoming! The dress-up days, the KoMet Pride everywhere, the fun activities, the parade...I love it all.  Although I still love it, today's Homecoming Friday had an unexpected twist.  While I was waving during the parade, my husband had been repeatedly calling me; I had no clue. Towards the end of advisory, we were able to connect. My father-in-law, the man who always greeted me with a huge smile and taught me to polka over 19 years ago, passed away this morning. His health has been on the decline for the past couple of weeks due to heart failure, but I didn't think the last time I saw him on Wednesday would be the last.  I put on my sunglasses, I did my best during the staff dance, I laughed and smiled during the rest of the pepfest, but inside I was a mess. My intrapersonal communication was asking why, sorting out what I knew and didn't know yet, was wondering how my husband was doing, but none of that was showing on the outside, I hope.  My nonverbal communication was not matching my intrapersonal messages at all.