More Toddler Talk...

Earlier I posted ways that I am an active listener with my son.  Since he is learning to talk, not all of his words are clear or understandable.  I'm noticing, though, that I am often stepping in to help others understand what he is saying.  Without thinking, I often translate his words and phrases.  It doesn't matter if the audience is someone who knows his "language," someone who doesn't know his "language," or if it is just the two of us.  I'm not entirely sure why I am doing this.  At first, I think it started out as a way to demonstrate being an active listening; I was making sure I was getting his messages correct. Then, I think I continued to do it to make sure he was hearing the right way of saying things, so he could get his message across more clearly rather than getting frustrated when someone doesn't understand him. I do it so often now that I am starting to feel a little silly about it.

An example of perception gone wrong

Yesterday, I observed a pretty good example of were perceptions, and lack of self-awareness, can make all the differences. 

One one side of a situation, we have an individual (we'll call her "Grace").  "Grace" is higher up in a small corporation and assists in making decisions based on who moves up the scale to higher-paid positions.  On the other side of this situation, we have another individual (we'll call her "Alyssa").  "Alyssa" has been working at this corporation for over three years and is currently furthering her education in this field.  It was announced recently that there will be a new opening at this corporation, one that is on "Grace's" level and is a step up for "Alyssa."  "Alyssa" is pretty sure she has the position, and she will be quite offended if she doesn't get it. She feels that since she has been working at this business for quite some time, is good at what she does,  and is currently completing a Masters in this field of study, then she should be the clear choice for the position.  "Grace," on the other hand, shares a very different view of "Alyssa."  "Grace," and others that work with "Grace," feel that "Alyssa" has a some room for growth in the field and has become a bit overconfident since working on her Masters.  Lately, "Alyssa" has overstepped some of her boundaries of authority by correcting some of the procedures of her colleagues.  In this sense, "Alyssa's" knowledge of herself and her self-awareness is a bit off compared to how others see her.  Due to this, she is hurt and doesn't understand why she isn't be as heavily considered for the new positions as others who are applying. 

This just goes to show how important it really is to seek out information regarding what others think of you to further your self-awareness and avoid false perceptions.

Self-Disclosure

Today in class we played an abstract version of Musical Chairs to practice self-disclosure. The point of the activity was to give students a chance to share about themselves while at the same time learning about their classmates.  The desks were arranged in a circle-like shape that was one desk short of the number of students in the room.  One student stood in the middle and shared something about him/her self.  If anyone seated shared that same feeling, experience, or trait, he/she had to move at least two desks away. Who ever was left was the next to share.  This was a really fun activity to observe. I learned some things about students in the class, and was even surprised by some of the results! 

I'm hoping the activity reminded everyone how it is equally important to share and listen in any type of relationship.  You need to take turns being the one who is sharing (self-disclosing).  If one person does all the sharing, then the relationship becomes one-sided and doesn't grow. 

Toddler Talk

Daycare closed yesterday with short notice, so I spent the day home with my little guy.  He's just learning to talk, and a lot of words he does say sound similar ("car" and "color" for example). I find myself repeating what he says back to him for clarification.  ("Oh, did you ask to go up in the chair?") He'll either nod his head or shake it, or he'll give me a pretty loud "No!" if I'm not understanding him correctly. We'll go back and forth until I get it right. Usually, I understand him the first time around, but there are some instances where I really just don't understand what he is saying.

Think about the last time you didn't understand someone's words. Did you just nod in agreement or let the confusing moment go without clarification because you were in a hurry, embarrassed, or something else? Or did you ask the speaker to repeat what he/she said, or ask for another form of clarification?  Imagine all the miscommunications that wouldn't occur if we would just stop and ask for clarification. 

My toddler reminded me yesterday of a pretty important lesson in communication and what can happen with the send and receiver aren't both active and clear in the conversation. 

Gender Roles...

Today I introduced the class to the concept of gender roles.  I think it is really interesting to look back in time and see how some aspects of gender roles have changed dramatically, but some aspects stay the same.  To introduce the idea of gender roles, we watched the animated version of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree.  The movie itself is from 1973, but it displays gender roles in a way that we still accept today; this relates to masculine and feminine cultures as well.  In the movie, the "boy" starts out depending on the tree for entertainment and nurturing (swinging from branches, climbing the trunk, eating apples, and sleeping in the branches), but as the "boy" ages, his needs change.  Later he needs money, a house, and a boat. Each of these exemplifies the concept of seeing material success in masculine cultures.  The tree, on the other hand, displays elements of a feminine culture. No matter how many times the "boy" returns to the tree in search of something new, the tree continues to give.  Each time she gives, the tree is literally giving of herself until all she has left is a stump. This relates to the feminine culture's need to build relationships, improve the quality of life for others, and fill the world with tenderness. The tree is a perfect example of this.  Do you see any other examples in the movie of the "boy" representing masculine culture and gender roles? How about other examples of the tree representing feminine culture and gender roles?

redtreetimes. "The Giving Tree" Red Tree Times. 4 April 2011. <http://redtreetimes.com/2011/08/04/the-giving-tree/> 12 Sept 2012.

  

First day of class!

Today was the first day of Interpersonal Communication.  I had butterflies in my stomach all day! I was excited to being a class that I was so passionate about, but I was concerned that the excitement wouldn't be contagious.  One of the highlights, for me anyway, from the first day was the tennis ball activity in the hallway.  It was fun for me to observe how everyone participated in the activity a little differently.  What I really enjoyed watching, though, was when I asked the students to no longer speak; they could only communicate non verbally.  It was really fascinating to see the different techniques students used.  There was a lot of pointing, snapping, and even some whistling.  If the rest of the activities are met with as much enthusiasm as this first one, I think we have a very fun and educational quarter ahead of us!