TIES and Perspective

Last week I had the honor of attending the TIES Conference, which focused on new ways of incorporating technology in education.  I went with another teacher.  As we walked around together between sessions, we would point out things we felt would be beneficial to the other or things that reminded us of the other.  This experience gave me an opportunity to grow in self-awareness. There are things that I didn't realize I said or did in the classroom that were noticed by others. This was a great opportunity for me to not only grow from the information and experiences of the conference session and speakers, but also to grow in self-awareness.

Recency and Primacy can be "Strange"

When it comes to impression of people, I definitely following the Primacy Theory of Impression Formation. I remember not only my first impression of you, but many times what you were wearing or how your hair was styled. I often remember those early conversations of self-disclosure more than the most recent ones. When it comes to movies and shows, though, I am more Recency; I'll remember what was more recently worn, said, or who someone was styled. A great example of that is from Strange Things. My hubby and I finished Stranger Things 2 finally last night.  So from now on, when I think of Eleven, I'll picture her at Snowball, not how she was in the first season with no hair.

Culture Regret

Three years ago, or maybe four, I joined a culture I now regret. At the time, I was pumped to bring the magic that went along with this culture into my home, but now I half regret it.  It's the Elf on the Shelf culture. Each night before I can go to sleep I need to find a new place for our family's elf, Nix, to "hide" until morning when my son excitedly seeks him out.  I have to make sure it's a new spot, a spot I can reach, and a place that no one will accidently touch him or need to move him. That's a lot of pressure! And then when he talks to other families with elves there's a sense of needing consistency between homes. There are rules that go along with having an Elf in your home. The elf has a way to dress and an book that lays out the culture, too.

Cultural Norms and Ethnocentrism

Things that are normal for Americans aren't necessarily normal to other cultures. Sometimes when we see how other cultures do things, what's normal for them, we might find ourselves becoming judgmental only because what the other cultures are doing isn't "normal" to us. That doesn't mean its better or worse, remember. It's just different.  Here are some really good examples of just that:Foreign Hygiene Norms that Americans Find Disgusting

Cultures Can Surprise You!

I was reminded in class today as everyone shared their cultures that sometimes a culture can surprise you. Sure, we can often guess different people's cultures based on what we know about them, how they dress, or what they talk about. Often times, though, there are the less obvious cultures people can be a part of outside of our public knowledge of that person. It's an important reminder that we should never assume things about each other, but instead, work to get to know each other better by asking questions, avoiding being judgmental, and practicing mindful communication.

Deer Culture

On the way to The Little Mermaid this past Friday, my son and I were suddenly stopped...but a deer.  As news spread to family and friends that we hit a deer, responses varied from "glad you are okay" to "I had that happen recently, too" to "do you have a deer whistle?" To friends and family in Oklahoma, California, and Florida, hitting  a deer is a completely foreign thing. For us in the upper Midwest, this is an unfortunate common occurrence, something many of us can relate to, and vocabulary has been created related to this experience. We Minnesotans are part of a Deer Culture.

Misread nonverbals

After completing Chapter 6, you might think I spend too much time analyzing gestures and other body movement. If I am, I'm not the only one. Check out what happened after this picture of Prince Harry and Melania Trump hit social media. From experts to internet trolls, everyone had an opinion of what Prince Henry's strange hand placement meant.

Article on Prince Henry's strange hand placement/gesture

Baby Faces

I find it fascinating how early babies can express their thoughts, feelings, and emotions compared to when they start developing words. My daughter is on the cusp of speech, so it's an especially interesting time to see her nonverbals develop along with her verbals.  Although this isn't my baby, this picture does a great job of illustrating the many faces of a baby.

Power of Nonverbals

I will never forget our final good-bye to my father-in-law. It was the most beautiful fall late morning. We were surrounding his grave in a horseshoe shape, his closest family members and friends. The 21 gun salute veterans were a few yards away.  I looked around at the different expresses our family members held: everything from smiles to sobs. My mother-in-law was all smiles, a smile of pride especially when she was handed the folded flag in honor of her husband's years of service.  I was amazed by both the spectrum of emotions being displayed as well as those who were willing to show their feelings openly versus those who kept their feelings masked. Nonverbal messages can be so powerful.

Hiding the Intrapersonal Communication

I LOVE Homecoming! The dress-up days, the KoMet Pride everywhere, the fun activities, the parade...I love it all.  Although I still love it, today's Homecoming Friday had an unexpected twist.  While I was waving during the parade, my husband had been repeatedly calling me; I had no clue. Towards the end of advisory, we were able to connect. My father-in-law, the man who always greeted me with a huge smile and taught me to polka over 19 years ago, passed away this morning. His health has been on the decline for the past couple of weeks due to heart failure, but I didn't think the last time I saw him on Wednesday would be the last.  I put on my sunglasses, I did my best during the staff dance, I laughed and smiled during the rest of the pepfest, but inside I was a mess. My intrapersonal communication was asking why, sorting out what I knew and didn't know yet, was wondering how my husband was doing, but none of that was showing on the outside, I hope.  My nonverbal communication was not matching my intrapersonal messages at all.

"Strong" self disclosure example

Yesterday, KMHS was honored with having a guest speaker come in and deliver some important messages to the student body and staff as well entertain us with some strength tricks.  John Pritikin shared some very personal stories about his childhood and struggles he experienced growing up.  He was delivering self disclosure after self disclosure that left me laughing at time and crying at others.  He was an amazing story teller verbally and nonverbally.  I wasn't sure what to expect when I heard he was coming to speak, but I have to admit, I was really impressed. At the base of his message, he challenged us to mindful of the messages we are sending and be there to help each other out when we need it.  I'm hoping that both of those become common KoMet behavior.

Under 200

Earlier this week, my husband and I were talking about our budgets. We are a Financial Peace house and follow most of Dave Ramsey's guidelines for budgeting. When we were talking about one of our "envelops" in the system, my husband said we had to be careful because we were "under $200."  What he meant is that we had less than $200 in that fund, $168 to be exact, but because I was not being a mindful communicator and not taking focusing on all his words, I misinterpreted the "under 200" as we were negative $200! I immediately started asking questions because I had no idea how that could have happened. Once he clarified for me what he meant by "under 200," we were both back on the same page. This is an example of ambiguity in communication since were each interpreting the same words differently.

You're Welcome?

First, I have to admit that I absolutely love the movie Moana, probably even more than my son does.  My church is doing a sermon series using songs from the movie. While watching the clip of Maui singing "You're Welcome" on Sunday, I realized the song starts out with contradicting perceptions.  Moana thinks that Maui took the heart of the Te Fiti selfishly and needs to return it because resources like fruit and fish are dying off due to his actions.  Maui thinks his stealing the heart was giving more power to humans and that he should be thanked for it. Both feel passionately about their viewpoints, but neither is willing to compromise.

Picture Perfect Nonverbal

Unless you were in my 1st block class yesterday, you didn't hear about my extreme discomfort with the standing-up pose for pictures yesterday.  Upon being told I had to stand with  my hand folded in front (I asked if I could be "sassy" with my hands on my hips and was shut down), I'm pretty sure my nonverbal communication was CLEAR. I was not comfortable nor happy with this new picture pose.  I'm afraid that same nonverbal communication will come back to haunt me when I get my new staff bad because I'm pretty sure it's not a sincere smile on my face at all. Nonverbal communication often speaks "louder" than verbal communication.

Ambiuity can be funny

Although miscommunication isn't funny, ambiguity can be. It can cause arguments and even bigger problems in relationships, personal and professional.  Laughter, though, can help in learning and remembering.  So to help you remember the concept we started with today, I give you an ambiguous comic!