A lesson in perception

My cousin shared this great video with me! Not only is it entertaining, but it touches base on gender stereotypes and men's perception of labor pains and giving birth. What makes this video so neat is that the men are hooked up to machines that simulate the experience of labor pains, so their perception becomes an actualization.  It is definitely worth the three minutes!

Labor pains? What labor pains?

My Indirect Mom

My mom has the Minnesota Nice thing down pretty well, and a big part of that is her mastery of indirect language.  Sometimes I don't understand if she expects something from me or is just suggesting it. She says things like, "Oh, it would be really nice if you could make it to__________," or "I've always wanted to go to __________ with Murphy" rather than just coming out and saying, "I need you to be at ________," or "Can I take Murphy to _________ on Saturday."  A lot of our disagreements and miscommunications could be avoided if she would just be a little more direct in her intentions.  I catch myself being indirect with my husband occasionally, but as soon as I realize it, I fix the indirect message to something more direct because I know how frustrating it can be to received an indirect statement. 

An example of jargon

Last night, I was talking with a friend of mine about Holocaust literature (The Diary of Anne Frank, Night, The Book Theif, The Storyteller, etc.).  That turned into a conversation about what we would do if we were in any of the character's shoes, specifically Anne Frank when the S.S. officers came knocking on the Annex door.

image source: http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111031000539/wolfenstein/images/b/b8/SS-soldier-WOF2009.png

 Then, this morning, I was getting a few items out of my school mailbox when some yummy-looking caramel cream coffee fell out with a sticky note that said "Stay Warm..  Your S.S."  It took me a second to realize this S.S. meant Secret Santa! 

image source: http://blog.timesunion.com/savings/files/2013/12/santa.png

Power Talk with Jody: What I learned

Today we had a guest speaker from Minneapolis School of business. Although I found his presentation interesting and relevant, there were two things he said that stood out to me more than anything else, and both of those things had to do with effective listening. 

The first thing he said was that to be an effective listener, you need to hear someone out no matter how much they may go against your personal beliefs. Like he said, I, too, can be a big stubborn and committed to my beliefs, morals, and values.  I am guilty of sometimes putting up that wall he gestured with and blocking the words of someone else. I am especially guilty of this with my dad.  My dad, due to where and when he grew up, is a bit racist and homophobic. He has come a long ways, but he has a hard time hearing me out when I try to "educate" him on how differences aren't necessarily a bad thing.  When he rebuttals, I sometimes tune him out by putting that wall up.  After hearing Jody's response to these situations, next time I am going to try harder to stay focused and hear my dad out.  I will look interested and may even thank him for a different perspective.  It won't be easy, but I think it will ensure that our afternoon ends on better terms than it has in the past when our differences come up in conversation.

Is anyone listening?

As a teacher, I feel like I am not being listened to multiple times a day.  As a parent of an almost three-year-old, I feel like I am not being listened to multiple times a day.  It can get pretty frustrating.  In the classroom, I am guessing the common barriers are distraction and lack of focus.  Would you agree?  What are some strategies you as a student would suggest for me as a teacher to use for more effective listening in my classroom? 

A new culture, a new perception

I am an avid Black Friday shopper and have been for years (pretty much since I could drive).  Although I still went out shopping this year, it was a different experience for me.  My usual shopping buddies were unable to join me: my sister was with her boyfriend in Mankato, and my husband had to work.  I went out briefly with my mom Thursday evening, but I was mostly on my own Friday.  Mostly on my own translates into my son and I.  I realized that having an almost three-year-old with me completely changed other shoppers' perception of me.  While waiting in line at Herbergers with a cart full of presents and my son, people were going out of their way to help us out.  One lady said that I could cut in front of her if my little guy started getting antsy.  The woman behind me said that she would save my place if my son needed to go to the bathroom.  A man offered to carry my framed art if it was in my son's way. 

In the past, I've encountered some pretty cut-throat individuals while shopping.  I'm not entirely sure if it was because it was later in the morning (eleven-ish maybe?), or if it was because I had Murphy with, but the people I encountered seemed to represent a very different shopping culture compared to  last year, and the way people interacted with me was far more pleasant.  Maybe I'll have to take him with next year, too...

The Tree in The Giving Tree

The Giving Tree is one of my favorite books of all time; it always has been.  When I first read the book, I was more interested in the relationship between the tree and the boy, and how the tree was there for the boy.  Now that I am a parent myself, I relate more to the tree than the overall relationship represented between the boy and the tree.  I, like the tree, would given anything to my son if it meant it would make him happy.  I would give until I was down to just a stump myself it meant his happiness and success.  I would easily give all my apples and branches if it meant I would see his smile.

Ally Fries or Alley Fries?

Every Sunday, I have dinner with my parents.  It is a manditory "family dinner" that started the year I moved out of my parents' house.  Since my husband's birthday was this past week, he got to choose where/what we had for family dinner.  Since there was a Vikings game and my hubby hadn't been to his hometown to eat in a while, he chose Shari's Sports Saloon in Chatfield, Mn.

Source: Shari's Sports Saloon Facebook page

 Already, you have learned about a few cultures and traditions I am a part of; both are concepts in Interpersonal Communication. That is not what this blog is really about, though.  I am going to focus it on an example of verbal miscommunication. 

When my dad was ordering his Philly cheese steak from Shari, he was struggling with what to order as his side.  She recommended the newest addition to the menu:  alley fries with alley sauce.  When Shari walked away, my dad turned to me and asked who Ally was.  I was confused and asked what he mean. He asked again who Ally was, as in who made the sauce.  I tried not to laugh, but I thought his confusion was kind of funny.  You see, the nickname for Shari's to locals in Chatfield is "the bowling alley."  The fries and sauce were actually called alley fries and alley sauce in reference to the nickname.  Since I have known about the nickname for decades, I just took it as common knowledge. My dad, not as familiar with Chatfield, had no idea. 

New Quarter

Image source: http://boredcentral.com/eliminate-boredom-in-the-classroom-yes-it-can-be-done/

I always get excited for a new quarter to begin; I like the idea of a clean slate and starting from the beginning.  I find that the first day of the quarter often indicates what kind of class (personality-wise) each section will be.  I understand the class is made up of individuals, but it also seems as if each section has a collective personality as well.  Yesterday, I observed a lot of nonverbal and verbal communication. Some sections are far more verbal than others; just as some sections are far more nonverbal that others.  I find that my mood, tone, and overall temperament changes depending on how verbal or nonverbal a class is.  I use the messages I receive from the classes to determine how I should respond. That is a big part of communication: being able to not only receive messages from the audience, but also responding appropriately. 

Here's to a fun, engaging quarter focused on bettering ourselves as communicators!

"You're Not Supposed to Be Here"

During hall duty this morning, I had three students tell me that I wasn't supposed to be here today.  I knew these students weren't 100% serious and were just hoping for an open notes guide test today.  I was helping a student from another class brainstorm paper topic ideas when the third Interpersonal Communication student told me I shouldn't be here today. The non-Inter Comm student was confused and thought that the Interpersonal Communication student was being serious and honest, in a harsh way; he thought the student was being disrespectful and rude.  I explained that it was all in fun.  That's a great example of how perception can vary!

MY Kwik Trip

Source: http://www.greenretaildecisions.com/upload/GRD_images_2010/kwik_trip/kwik-trip_web.jpg

I had to run a quick errand yesterday afternoon, and on my way back home, I realized I needed to stop for gas.  I passed at least three Kwik Trips on the way home, and I didn't stop at a single one. The reason?  I felt that I had to stop at my Kwik Trip, the one closest to home and the one I go to most often.  Is it really mine? Of course not, but I feel like it is because I've been there so often and the employees recognize me.  As I was pumping gas, I realized how silly it was, the need to go to this Kwik Trip over the others. I also came to realization that it was a great example of public territory.  It doesn't belong to me in the slightest, but I feel like it is mine in a sense.  Do you do something similar?

Um, Like, You know...

After school Wednesday, I had to make a quick stop at a store at the Apache Mall.  Since the store was having a pretty big sale, it was busy, and the lines at the cashier were very long.  As I mentioned in previous students' blogs, I am a big fan of a people watching.  The way this store was set up, though, didn't give me that opportunity.  Instead, I was forced with having to listen to two girls having a conversation in line behind me.  Every other word was "like," "um," or "you know."  The one girl was venting that she only got a $50 dollar gift card to the store we were in.  Her friend was far too agreeable.  I'm not sure what these two girls were sharing was even a conversation.  I felt it more resembled a list of filler words.  I'm sure passing words back and forth helped them pass the time, but I would hardly consider what they had as a dialogue.