Words of Life

So much of Eric's message today ties into Interpersonal Communication.  He stresses the importance and POWER of the words we speak face-to-face, online, and to ourselves, and that those words need to be words of life rather than words of death.  The power of words spoken face-to-face is another lesson in mindfulness; you need to be aware not only of the messages you are sending, but the effects those words have on others. We talked about in Chapter 1 how communication is irreversible; when words of death are released, they can't be taken back.  We'll get more into the power of the words we use in chapters 5, 7, and 8.  The same goes with the words we use online. Those are irreversible, too. Once someone, anyone, has seen them, they are out there and can't really be deleted or taken back.  But one of the most powerful messages has to do with the words we tell ourselves; that's intrapersonal communication.

    

That ties SO strongly to what we are covering in Chapter 3. How we see ourselves is directly linked to how we speak to ourselves.  In middle school and most of high school, I had really low self-esteem.  I didn't really value myself, at all. Much of that came from other's words to me, which directly affected how I saw myself.  My intrapersonal communication was toxic, hurtful, and sometimes even abusive.  Words of death aren't just the words we speak or communicate to others; those words can be the words we tell ourselves. It's important to surround yourself with people who build you up, and nurish you, not knock you down.  If people see you positively, you'll see youself better. I met my now husband the summer before my senior year. I was just coming out of an abusive relationship, and I really didn't see myself with much value.  My intrapersonal communication wasn't much better than that of my abusive boyfriend. My now husband changed that for me. He reminded me that not all guys are toxic and hurtful, use words of death. He reminded me what real friendship felt like and that I was worth much more than how I saw myself.  He provided me with words of life, and I began to see myself far more positively. I was a very different person my senior year of high school, and I've continued to grow in positive ways ever since. Words of life have a HUGE impact. I know this first had. You don't always end up dating and marrying the person who fills you with words of life, but in my case, I lucked out.

Noise on the Family Dog Walk

Last night, around 5pm, my family chose to take a walk together since the weather was so nice. We didn't get very far before we noticed a lot of flashing lights, sirens, and emergency vehicles. My son was curious and suggested we change from our normal route to a new one to see what was going on.  This is what we encountered:
 http://www.kaaltv.com/news/rochester-motorcycle-crash/4321483/?cat=10151

My son had a hard time communicating with us because he was so distracted by the seen (Psychological noise), but I'm not sure we would have heard him much anyway with the sirens and men directing traffic (Physical noise). I was worried about the motorcyclist involved in the accident as we watched a body be loaded on a stretcher and into the back of an ambulance; I was so worried about that poor person that I completely missed something my husband said to me (Psycholocial noise).

My Physiological Noise Today

I'm sick.  I can't breathe through my nose, my voice is come-and-go, I have a constant tickle in my throat, and when I cough, I don't know when I'll stop.  Because if this, I'm preoccupied with my own miserableness (psychological noise), but because of the congestion, I struggle to hear or speak clearly, so that's my Physiological noise today.  I'm also incredibly tired, due to the illness I'm guessing, which is making it hard to communicate, too. This is more Physiological noise.  I'm hoping after weekend of rest, I'll be back to "normal" come Monday.  I'll do my best not to spread this yuckiness to you, too.

Political Noise

This has been an emotional week for me. I normally keep politics out of the classroom, but I feel that reflecting briefly on the week is not only therapeutically necessary for me, but also a great example of how I have experienced noise this week.  Starting Wednesday morning, I've been overwhelmed by psychological noise.  I'm preoccupied internally by feelings of fear, worry, and concern for others.  I've struggled with articulating these feelings, and to be honest, I felt uncomfortable sharing them with anyone outside of my immediate family and closest friends. Then, this morning, a close friend of mine Facebook messaged me a blog post she had recently read. She knew that I would find a kindred spirit in the author of the post and comfort in her words.

So not only have I been preoccupied by psychological noise this week, tying into Chapter 1 concepts, but also a piece of social media, computer-mediated, mass communication was shared with me that connected on a deeper, more personal level.

I am NOT posting this to start some sort of political debate in the comments. Instead, I'm simply showing how I was touched by a computer-mediated, mass communication piece posted by a stranger but was greatly affected by it.

The blog post, "Written in Love"

More listening videos!

While I was poking around the Internet, I found a whole page of Ted Talks dedicated to listening.  If you are interested in analyzing why your or someone you know is a distracted listener, or if you are looking to improve as a listener with the help of another resource, then these might be some great extended resources for you!  Check them out here:

http://blog.ted.com/8-talks-on-the-importance-of-listening-and-how-to-do-a-much-better-job-of-it/

ACT in my room

Yesterday, I proctored the ACT test in my room. During the testing, I was observing all kinds of nonverbal communication. I could tell how students were feeling based on their facial expressions, gestures, and general body language. I could tell when they were about to fall asleep, when they were confident, when they were frustrated, when they were confused or clueless, and when they were excited to be done! All this was done without a single word, or even sound, uttered. Nonverbal communication is really fascinating to me.

Another of my cultures

In class today, I shared being a runner as one of my cultures, and it truly is something I love and a culture I am a part of. Looking around my classroom, you might have guessed that I consider myself a Potterhead, too, which is a fandom culture related to Harry Potter. I gobbled up the books, saw the midnight showing of most of the movies, and continue to read the books and watch the movies. I could go on and on over how badly I want my own hippogriff...

Hippogriff: http://animal-dream.com/data_images/hippogriff/hippogriff7.jpg

or how badly I cried when Dobby died.  I own t-shirts, a wand, the books, the movies, and more. It really is something I can get pretty excited over and passionate about.

Dobby: http://barkpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/dobbytheelf-808x500.jpg

Gender and Money

I'm currently reading Dave Ramsey's Complete Guide to Money with my husband and part of a class we are taking together. Something that I read last night connects to chapter 2 in class, and that's the connection of the culture of gender to money spending and debt. In the book it addresses that debt affects each gender differently. Masculine genders are experience lowered self value and self-esteem when experiencing debt and money troubles while in a committed relationship, like marriage. Feminine cultures report feeling terrified when experiencing debt and money troubles.  This ties in to quite a bit of our chapter 2 on culture. Here are some other things in the book that relate.

1) Men love to share facts; women love to express feelings.  Report vs Rapport in our text! 
2) Men connect by doing things; women connect by talking.
3) Men tend to compete; women tend to cooperate.
4) Men tend to be controlling; women tend to be agreeable.
5) Men tend to be independent; women tend to be interdependent.

Do you find this to be true? What are your thoughts?

My Brain has a different plan...

One of the kinds of noise that we'll learn about in Chapter 1 is psychological noise. That kind of noise includes thoughts that distract you from successful communication.  After Chad's story this morning, I had a hard time focusing on teaching my second class, Enriched English 11, right away. I was thinking about a car accident I was in when I was about 19. We were hit in an intersection by a driver we thought had been drinking. Since we were only going a couple of blocks, I hadn't buckled yet; this was the only time in my life I failed to buckle right away.  If my now husband hadn't grabbed my head and pulled me down right after the collision, my head would have gone through the window.  I kept replaying the incident in my head, and because of that, I was distracted at the start of 2nd block today. That's an example of me experiencing psychological noise. Anytime you've been daydreaming or thinking about later plans/obligations and didn't process what someone was telling you, you were experiencing psychological noise, too.

Source: http://images.clipartpanda.com/triage-clipart-2012-02-04_4063_accident.jpg

Red

In Enriched English 11, we are reading Ethan Frome.  Although I've taught this book for years, this is the first quarter I really thought about all the other meanings for the color read in our society outside of the somewhat outdated meaning of the color as it is in the book. When we covered nonverbal communication, we talked about color as an example.  When it comes to color as symbolism in literature, it's a perfect complement to this idea.

Play?

Yesterday, Murphy and I went over to a family friend's house for lunch and board games.  The first game we played was called "Toss the Cookies."  After that, we took an ice cream break, and then we played a Disney Trivial Pursuit game.  Murphy was playing with some toys  in the other room after ice cream, and instead of asking if he was going to come play the Disney game, I simply asked "Murphs, are you going to play?" I meant play the board game, but he thought I meant stay and play with the toys he was currently playing with. It took me a couple times of asking the same question to understand that we were each interpreting the word "play" differently.  That's an example of miscommunication in words, or verbal miscommunication.

Awkward Interview

One kind of conversation that we covered this week was interviews.  In poking around online, I fell upon this really awkward interview. It doesn't really have a proper opening. Nor does it have a clear business. It just gets kind of stuck! Since it doesn't follow a clear pattern/process, there seems to be some confusion and tension.  Although the clip is near 3 minutes, it really only takes about 1 1/2 minutes to see things fall apart. 

Colbert and Affleck

Wearin' the Green

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day.  It's our families tradition to get all decked out in green and watch the St. Patrick's Day Parade at noon in St. Paul.  This is a tradition we treasure and enjoy. Every year is a little different, especially the weather, but there are things that keep it consistent, too.  This year, after our annual walk to Candyland to load up on some sweets, we ran some errands. One of those was to my favorite spice shop, Penzeys, which is in Apple Valley, not St. Paul. When I walked into the store, the woman working gave me a double take. Then, she commented that, "Oh yeah! It's St. Patrick's Day, isn't it."  You see, in St. Paul, it was completely normally to be dressed up for the holiday, even expected, but in this small store in Apple Valley, it was unexpected. This is an example of differing cultures.

Thanks Pixar: Nonverbal Communication Example

Chapter 6 has been all about the messages we send without using words.  This Pixar video does an outstanding job of that.

The baby's coming!

I'm dealing with some serious psychological noise today.  You see, my best friend of over 25 years is having her first baby today.  She was induce this morning and has been updating me constantly on her status.  I've been quite preoccupied by thoughts of her, concerns for her, and checking my phone for updates from here that I'm afraid I wasn't as focused as I should have been in my classes today.  The last message I got from her was about 50 minutes ago, so I'm getting really eager to be reassured  that everything is okay, to see a pic of her baby boy, and to know that it's time to celebrate rather than worry.  Here's hoping I am gifted with some good news, soon!

Electronic Communication Evolution

I'm really excited for class today. We are starting You've Got Mail since it shows the evolution and effects of electronic communication. I was telling this to another teacher in the media center today, and she was reminded of this movie, War Games, which shows an even earlier use of computers for communication!

War Games Clip 1

War Games Clip 2


That got us thinking to about American Online, and how much I DON'T miss this:

And it reminded me of all this excitement of early online communication:

Powerful Words

Chapter 5 is all about verbal language, the words that we use. What do YOU think is the most powerful word in the English language?  I'm sure what I would pick.  Maybe "No" because it has such finality to it? Here's an interesting website that has a list of what people thought the most powerful word was and why. Do you agree or disagree with what they wrote?  What would you add to the list?

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-most-powerful-word-in-the-English-language

Are you listening?!?!

We are all guilty of not actively listening from time to time.  For me, I'm most guilty when a device is in my hand.  For others, it's while they are working on a complicated task, or they might be preoccupied with what they are going to say or do next.  I think this clip does a good job of showing both of those last ideas.

Sparkling Trees

Beads are a BIG DEAL in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. They are EVERYWHERE! On balconies, on vehicles, on storefronts, counters, doors, EVERYWHERE. At first, this was a little strange to me, this cultural accessory, but of all the places I saw beads, in the trees were my favorite, like colorful, sparkling plastic icicles.  Many were left there from parade throws gone wrongly, while others were purposely left as festive decorations.  I would love to do this to my own trees, especially in winter and fall when they look so empty and barren, but few Minnesotans would get the cultural reference.

Yogurt Conflict

Chapter 2 was all about culture, and while in New Orleans eating breakfast, I encountered a difference in culture that I found both disturbing and humorous.  We stayed at an Embassy Suites while there, and the hotel hosted a HUGE breakfast each morning.  One of my favorite things there was their extra goopy oatmeal (I'm salivating just looking at this picture).  Next to the oatmeal was a fruit and yogurt bar. On my first morning getting breakfast there, I scooped my oatmeal into a bowl and added my favorite toppings.  Then I saw the yogurt.  I decided I'd put some of the strawberry yogurt in a bowl, too.  Just then, this lady with a strong local accent walked up behind me, ranting, "Don't any of these folks know that yogurt goes on a plate, A PLATE, and not no darn dish.  Really?! Leave the bowls for the hot eats." Needless to say, I turned a little red in the face and booked it to my table before I made another cultural mistake. I also didn't make that same mistake the next morning out of fear the same loud lady would be there looking for me. Regardless of the embarrassment, that oatmeal was worth it.

Culture Shock?

I think I'm about to experience a bit of culture shock. Chapter 2 is all about culture: the language, the clothing, the traditions, the celebrations.  I know heading to New Orleans, I'm going to run into a different accent and dialect (semantic noise), I'll hear different music than I'm used to, and come Tuesday, I bet I'll see dress and costumes that I'm not used to, too.

I love traveling! I love experiencing new things, new cultures, and more than anything else, new foods! I'm sure I'll have all kinds of examples of Interpersonal Communication to share when I get back.

No Capes

We've talked about Culture quite a bit in the class and the things that make a culture, like uniforms, jargon, traditions, and beliefs.  While watching The Incredibles this past weekend, I realized the super heroes in the movie are one culture while trying to live undiscovered in normal, American life was another culture.  In this clip you see examples of both jargon and uniforms.  You also see some paralanguage with the phrase: No Capes!

Silence!

My son is a big fan of Teen Titans Go! One of my favorite episodes (yes, I like the show, too) uses a lot of silence as well a paralanguage (especially volume) to send interpersonal messages.  The silence creates tension for some, while it brings comfort to others (Raven).  In Chapter 6, we talked quite a bit about the messages silence can send.  One character in this episode is a whisper, and the lower volume sends messages and sets a mood for this episode that is different from other episodes, connecting to our studies of nonverbal communication.

Here is a clip from the episode, although it isn't the full episode:

Silent Movie Teen Titans Go!

Too much? Not enough? What are your thoughts.

I realized in class yesterday that I use a lot of self-disclosure in Interpersonal Communication compared to my other classes.  I think it's important that this class in particular gets to know me beyond just the teacher leading the class; I think that's why I am more willing to share more about my life outside of the classroom in this class. As we derailed talking about my Christmas presents yesterday, it was hard not to wonder if sometimes it's too self-disclosure much?  What do you think?